Wednesday, September 28, 2011
17 days to go and the name of the game is Adjusting.
Everyone tells you that marriage is tough but rewarding. Jonah and I moved in together about 2 years ago. We did so because we were moving to New York, a dream for both of us, and couldn’t afford to live apart. I remember the first few months of that were tough, really tough. I took a job that required me to work late and we were in a new town and I had no friends or family there, only Jonah. I remember the range of emotions that I had encountered; loneliness, grief, homesickness, jealousy- just to name a few. Those were only my emotions, I can only imagine what Jonah was feeling.
Jonah had family in town, his best friend lived in town, but his parents were very upset that he moved out and that he moved so far away with a girl they weren’t sure would be good for him. He missed his dog, Muffy, so much. He had all of these aspirations to ‘make it big’ and put so much pressure on himself with deadlines. I know he was lonely. I know he hated his job. He had so much to prove to his parents.
Over time we started to figure out what did and didn’t work for us. Things that we wouldn’t change we learned to work around it. We had to adjust. Living with someone is a whole different world then just dating them. There are no more masks. You learn to shut up, put up or get out.
When I imagined what life would be like 17 days before the wedding I imagined how madly in love Jonah and I would be, lots of kisses and sweetness. When I was in New York I bought a million lovey post cards so that all the days leading up to our big day I could leave him sweet messages and surprises. I would not have imagined that Jonah would get a new job that caused us to see each other so little and tensions would rise in the D-Q home.
Jonah loves this new job. He feels really good about himself and he rocks at work. I’m really proud of him. His work has him coming in earlier and earlier and he works later and later and its getting…harder and harder. I chalk it up to bad timing. But he found something that makes him happy and after the wedding I have to believe it will get better. It just has to, we are a great team.
I don’t know why getting married, something so beautiful, has to be made so stressful. Im in a horrible mood. Im so stressed that my body is acting all crazy. Im taking vitamins and everything else! I haven’t been sleeping only having dreams about paranoia and murder. Go figure! I haven’t even been watching the crime shows and I have been skipping the wine before bed.
I have a lot left to do yet. I have had to cancel bridal showers due to craziness, bachelorette party due to my 1000 dress fittings. I have to work on the music, getting my photo ID replaced so we can go apply for the marriage certificate (good luck finding time to do that!), figure out the whole spray tan situation, go get my makeup done so I can learn to do it myself and buy what they put on, whiten my teeth, organize everything that needs to go with us, pack our overnight stuff for the trip, send out invites for the rehearsal dinner, buying Jonah wedding band, getting Jonah measured for his tux, gifts for the groomsmen and the parents and the kids, and more. Little stuff, but stuff that needs to be done. I still haven’t received some of the stuff I ordered in the mail, flower girls dress, garter belt set, my wedding gift to Jonah.
This weekend I am off to NYC again, Im picking up the dress finally. No more dress fittings. No more canceling things. Now Im on a mission, get the dress and get married. Seventeen days… a very LONG seventeen days.