Saturday, February 4, 2012

Tick Tock Tick Tock...

I awoke with babies on my mind. Baby names. Baby shower ideas. I guess its official, that clock is tick tick TICKING.

As I have mentioned before, we have decided to stop preventing pregnancy at the end of this year. To be honest I was pretty nervous about it because of all of the life changes a baby brings. But when that clock starts I guess the nervousness sort of fades away.

I will be 30 years old this year. I remember when my mom turned 30. I was old enough to remember her birthday and her decision to stay 29 instead of turn 30 and I am now that same age and live such a different life than she did.
Jonah tells me we need to start making more trips to see the kids because he knows how my mind works. Anything I like, I love. I’m never sorta into anything. Im either all about it or not interested. Lets pray that we wont have too much trouble conceiving and that God waits until we are BOTH ticking.

My fear is that my husband is so willing to please me that he will just do anything for me. I know that he does that and I don’t want having a baby to be one of those things. I want him to be as ready as he can be to be a Dad. I don’t want to pressure him into it so that’s why I will bring it up from time to time and never really go bananas about it. I want it to be a joint decision but if he sees that it’s all I think about than maybe he will just want to make me happy. For the record, I’m not to that level yet, just crossing my mind once or twice a day.

I’m very devoted to my career right now. I think that’s why the ticking went away originally. I really was pushing to get to the top of my game and to be well respected in my company. I’ve arrived. I have made it through my first busy season as a manager and did so with some unfortunate setbacks in my office. I am at the highest position I can get to with only the general manager, VP, and President above me. I’ve done a great job and I’ve done it all with a hell of a lot of hard work and sacrifice. I didn’t do it alone though, Thank God for Jonah. He has been incredibly supportive and patient with me, even when it wasn’t fair for him.

He is working hard at his career now and I want to give him the same respect. I want to be supportive and patient with him. I want to show him I am here for him. I don’t want to push him to do anything until he is at a point that he is satisfied. Not at the top, but happy with what he has accomplished. I think we all know his career is a lot tougher to break into than mine was. I fell into mine and then worked hard. His is hard work from start to finish.

Tomorrow we are going to meet with Long and Foster about buying a house. We will see what it’s going to take and if we are eligible to do it at this point. At least obtain some guidance so we know where to start. Im a little nervous. I really want to buy a house, we’re ready for a mortgage instead of this ridiculous rent, but I’m scared we won’t be eligible for a loan. I don’t know what it takes to get one. I guess we will find out tomorrow.

Did I mention that next week at this time we will be on our honeymoon!?! That’s right, we decided to nix the idea of that grand European one (we’ll do it later) and just get the hell out of here! See the European one would have taken a bit longer to save for, which is fine. But my fear is if we keep waiting we won’t honeymoon at all. I have heard that from lots of people who waited to do their honeymoon and they didn’t go. The main reason we waited was because my work schedule didn’t allow any more than the 4 days I ask off for the wedding during October. The blackout season is from September all the way to February which is why we planned for a honeymoon in February. We needed the break.

Jonah has never been on a cruise before and I am just so thrilled to share this experience with him. He is going to love it! I hope! If he doesn’t it will be a very long 7 days. We left my camera at my Dads so now we need to borrow or buy another. We’ll see. It’s going to be so nice to have him all to myself. I’m so excited for him I have already packed his suitcase, which he will have to repack with things he actually likes to wear.

Stay posted for the pix of the honeymoon.