Wednesday, September 28, 2011
17 days to go and the name of the game is Adjusting.
Everyone tells you that marriage is tough but rewarding. Jonah and I moved in together about 2 years ago. We did so because we were moving to New York, a dream for both of us, and couldn’t afford to live apart. I remember the first few months of that were tough, really tough. I took a job that required me to work late and we were in a new town and I had no friends or family there, only Jonah. I remember the range of emotions that I had encountered; loneliness, grief, homesickness, jealousy- just to name a few. Those were only my emotions, I can only imagine what Jonah was feeling.
Jonah had family in town, his best friend lived in town, but his parents were very upset that he moved out and that he moved so far away with a girl they weren’t sure would be good for him. He missed his dog, Muffy, so much. He had all of these aspirations to ‘make it big’ and put so much pressure on himself with deadlines. I know he was lonely. I know he hated his job. He had so much to prove to his parents.
Over time we started to figure out what did and didn’t work for us. Things that we wouldn’t change we learned to work around it. We had to adjust. Living with someone is a whole different world then just dating them. There are no more masks. You learn to shut up, put up or get out.
When I imagined what life would be like 17 days before the wedding I imagined how madly in love Jonah and I would be, lots of kisses and sweetness. When I was in New York I bought a million lovey post cards so that all the days leading up to our big day I could leave him sweet messages and surprises. I would not have imagined that Jonah would get a new job that caused us to see each other so little and tensions would rise in the D-Q home.
Jonah loves this new job. He feels really good about himself and he rocks at work. I’m really proud of him. His work has him coming in earlier and earlier and he works later and later and its getting…harder and harder. I chalk it up to bad timing. But he found something that makes him happy and after the wedding I have to believe it will get better. It just has to, we are a great team.
I don’t know why getting married, something so beautiful, has to be made so stressful. Im in a horrible mood. Im so stressed that my body is acting all crazy. Im taking vitamins and everything else! I haven’t been sleeping only having dreams about paranoia and murder. Go figure! I haven’t even been watching the crime shows and I have been skipping the wine before bed.
I have a lot left to do yet. I have had to cancel bridal showers due to craziness, bachelorette party due to my 1000 dress fittings. I have to work on the music, getting my photo ID replaced so we can go apply for the marriage certificate (good luck finding time to do that!), figure out the whole spray tan situation, go get my makeup done so I can learn to do it myself and buy what they put on, whiten my teeth, organize everything that needs to go with us, pack our overnight stuff for the trip, send out invites for the rehearsal dinner, buying Jonah wedding band, getting Jonah measured for his tux, gifts for the groomsmen and the parents and the kids, and more. Little stuff, but stuff that needs to be done. I still haven’t received some of the stuff I ordered in the mail, flower girls dress, garter belt set, my wedding gift to Jonah.
This weekend I am off to NYC again, Im picking up the dress finally. No more dress fittings. No more canceling things. Now Im on a mission, get the dress and get married. Seventeen days… a very LONG seventeen days.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
If you're wondering what is going through a brides head 34 days prior to her wedding date I might be able to give you some insight. Keep in mind though, I might not be the "normal" bride, but who's really "normal" these days?
Let me start by saying that when you are getting married, no matter how easy going and drama free you are, it will find you. When brides I knew posted that status,
"we should have eloped", I'll admit I laughed and thought 'ah, cant be that bad!'. I was wrong. There have been a few moments where it was absolutely "That Bad". One specific time when I was standing on the Potomac river outside my work and was thinking, I want to swim home. Jump. Get lost. Then I realized that even when I get home the drama would be there when I get there.
Just gotta deal with it head on. I didnt expect all of it. Its one time in my whole life where Im allowed to think about myself. Where I can be a little selfish. I havent been forever. So when my closest friends and family members make my getting married about themselves it hurts. I've definitely figured out where I stand with a lot of family and friends at this point. After the wedding I have a feeling things will be different. Im keeping the peace, as always, but after the wedding I will remember whats gone on here. Just disappointed.
Last night I was making my "guest book". I guess I had imagined the cutting of hundreds of paper leaves to be a little bit more relaxing for me since I enjoy scrapbooking. My Cricut is missing its cord and so I had to buy a leaf cutter. To push this thing down was so tough. First of all it took about an hour and a half, a bottle of wine, and me kneeling on the floor to push it down with all my weight. It was really hard! Tonight I am sore! It was a workout! I kept thinking, "why the hell didnt I just buy this on Etsy". Jonah showed his support by telling me that in the future Im going to look at the art and know that I did it and I will love that i did it. Bah! I could have loved the one I bought too. Anyway, its going to be cool.
People start coming out of the woodwork! People you haven't spoken to in forever contact you and it is awkward. I had someone send us a wedding present that I hadnt spoken to in forever! We were so surprised. I had an old friends cousin contact me and urge to me to reach out to this friend which was totally awkward because the situation is complicated and its none of her business. So attempting to be nice and tell her buzz off was tough. Someone I use to work with and am FB friends with but dont keep in touch with kind of invited themselves. Very strange. Out of the woodwork.
The RSVPs. We sent the invites out pretty late. I didnt really think about how early I would need to let the cater know the number. So I thought I had plenty of time. Not the case. So I gave people about 2 and half weeks to mail the RSVPs back. I feel like that is enough time. But today was the due date and I havent heard back from about 50% of the people. Keep in mind there was an earthquake and a hurricane during this time and the mail has gotten messed up. Im going to have to email everyone now and make phone calls.
Due to drama I canceled all of the Bridal showers. I was really disappointed the way the whole thing worked out. I wont discuss it here but if you're reading this please dont think you didnt get an invite to one, I canceled them. There's a brunch in New York. Im looking forward to that and Im also having a bachelorette party.
There is drama with the bridal party but there always is I guess. One of my employees gave me some advice and I took it- do it yourself. I have asked people to do things and they dont get done and Im disappointed. Im just doing it myself. With about a month left in this journey, I dont have the luxury of making a wish on star and hoping that they get it. Good thing Im in the DC office and it lacks the attention that the NY one did.
I have to order my birth certificate. I lost it last cruise. It is crazy trying to order one online, at least I have really struggled. Cant get a marriage license without it. I finally asked Mom to grab one for me next time she goes back to the area. Just insane. Without that... the whole thing is a lost cause.
Just got to remember the goal has always been to be married to my best friend and in 34 days I will be!
Next weekend we're in New York. Second dress fitting. Looking forward to it.
I think I have gone on enough.