Did you say 34 days?

If you're wondering what is going through a brides head 34 days prior to her wedding date I might be able to give you some insight. Keep in mind though, I might not be the "normal" bride, but who's really "normal" these days?

Let me start by saying that when you are getting married, no matter how easy going and drama free you are, it will find you. When brides I knew posted that status,
"we should have eloped", I'll admit I laughed and thought 'ah, cant be that bad!'. I was wrong. There have been a few moments where it was absolutely "That Bad". One specific time when I was standing on the Potomac river outside my work and was thinking, I want to swim home. Jump. Get lost. Then I realized that even when I get home the drama would be there when I get there.

Just gotta deal with it head on. I didnt expect all of it. Its one time in my whole life where Im allowed to think about myself. Where I can be a little selfish. I havent been forever. So when my closest friends and family members make my getting married about themselves it hurts. I've definitely figured out where I stand with a lot of family and friends at this point. After the wedding I have a feeling things will be different. Im keeping the peace, as always, but after the wedding I will remember whats gone on here. Just disappointed.

Last night I was making my "guest book". I guess I had imagined the cutting of hundreds of paper leaves to be a little bit more relaxing for me since I enjoy scrapbooking. My Cricut is missing its cord and so I had to buy a leaf cutter. To push this thing down was so tough. First of all it took about an hour and a half, a bottle of wine, and me kneeling on the floor to push it down with all my weight. It was really hard! Tonight I am sore! It was a workout! I kept thinking, "why the hell didnt I just buy this on Etsy". Jonah showed his support by telling me that in the future Im going to look at the art and know that I did it and I will love that i did it. Bah! I could have loved the one I bought too. Anyway, its going to be cool.

People start coming out of the woodwork! People you haven't spoken to in forever contact you and it is awkward. I had someone send us a wedding present that I hadnt spoken to in forever! We were so surprised. I had an old friends cousin contact me and urge to me to reach out to this friend which was totally awkward because the situation is complicated and its none of her business. So attempting to be nice and tell her buzz off was tough. Someone I use to work with and am FB friends with but dont keep in touch with kind of invited themselves. Very strange. Out of the woodwork.

The RSVPs. We sent the invites out pretty late. I didnt really think about how early I would need to let the cater know the number. So I thought I had plenty of time. Not the case. So I gave people about 2 and half weeks to mail the RSVPs back. I feel like that is enough time. But today was the due date and I havent heard back from about 50% of the people. Keep in mind there was an earthquake and a hurricane during this time and the mail has gotten messed up. Im going to have to email everyone now and make phone calls.

Due to drama I canceled all of the Bridal showers. I was really disappointed the way the whole thing worked out. I wont discuss it here but if you're reading this please dont think you didnt get an invite to one, I canceled them. There's a brunch in New York. Im looking forward to that and Im also having a bachelorette party.

There is drama with the bridal party but there always is I guess. One of my employees gave me some advice and I took it- do it yourself. I have asked people to do things and they dont get done and Im disappointed. Im just doing it myself. With about a month left in this journey, I dont have the luxury of making a wish on star and hoping that they get it. Good thing Im in the DC office and it lacks the attention that the NY one did.

I have to order my birth certificate. I lost it last cruise. It is crazy trying to order one online, at least I have really struggled. Cant get a marriage license without it. I finally asked Mom to grab one for me next time she goes back to the area. Just insane. Without that... the whole thing is a lost cause.

Just got to remember the goal has always been to be married to my best friend and in 34 days I will be!

Next weekend we're in New York. Second dress fitting. Looking forward to it.

I think I have gone on enough.