lessons learned

October has arrived. My favorite month is here and I have so much to look forward to now. The weather has chilled a little, my hoodies are waiting to be abused, and the leaves are starting to turn. I could not be more excited. Jonah loves October too. He likes the season and all the nostalgia it brings. Something about those brisk autumn nights brings out the creativity and romance in us all.

The bonfires, thick throw blankets, pumpkin spice everything. Ah Rocktober, how I love thee. Perfect for a sweater, some chucks, a snuggle, and hot apple cider. It is all love.

I think when God made Jonah for me he knew I would love him even more if his month of birth was my precious October. What a present I get every October until the end of my time, all of my favorite things all in one glorious month. My Grooms birth, my wedding anniversary, my October and its fixin’s. L.O.V.E.

Fifteen days. That’s what it has all come down to is fifteen days. Wow, what two weeks can do to someone. Its coming up fast now and Im ready. The last blog was a little sad I think. I had hit a rough patch. You know, in weddings, there can be more rough patches than you think.

There are people in your life and you may never know how much you mean to them. You may never know that the thought of you missing their wedding just boggles their mind. They cant even imagine you not being there and now that your not going to be there it is what they think of when their mind stops racing for a quiet moment.
There are things that people say, maybe with every intention of being funny, that make you so sad. You cant believe that they could say something so heartless and selfish even as a joke. I will remember to think before I speak, especially to those I love and to those who love me. I wonder if they could see the hurt in my eyes when they said those things or the breaking of my voice when I repeated what they said to make sure I misunderstood what they said. How about the look on my face when I realized I did hear them correctly.

Follow through. Don’t pretend to be dependable if you aren’t. I will not over extend myself when I know that its someone elses dreams at stake. Don’t make commitments you cant follow through on, even something small. You never know what that commitment will mean to someone or how offended they will be when you don’t do it.
I will never let anyone get in the way of me enjoying the people I love and seeing them the happiest they will ever be. No one will keep me from attending all the big beautiful things in life, like watching two people that I love celebrate their love in front of God and the world.

You can get through anything with enough sleep. When I was sleep deprived I have made some really dumb decisions and also lacked the patience that I require to handle the world. No amount of caffeine is equivalent to one good 8 hour night of sleep. Sleep is a cure all.

Though you may have someone on your top 10 priority list does not mean you are on theirs, and vice versa.

What if you woke up today with only what you thanked God for yesterday. Don’t forget to thank God daily. If it weren’t for God then I know for a fact I wouldn’t be here.
If it’s not about you don’t make it about you. There are just some things that you can’t be selfish about. Save the drama for yo’ Mama, not my Mama, Yo’ Mama! Look, drama is not my thing. The wedding is no exception. Some people love it, and that’s cool. Not me. I wont push my drama on others.

Lessons I have learned. There will be more before this whole thing is said and done but Im so thankful for these lessons. I feel so blessed that I have been able to take so much away from this experience. I will be better because of every piece of this celebration of love. From the drama to the unexpected blessings.

Im so happy and so in love. Someone once said that now that you are dating Jonah I have no idea who you are anymore. You’re not as cynical or sarcastic anymore. She said it because she was hurt but it was one of the best compliments ever. I was really depressed and unhappy and then I fell in love. I found someone that I could tell anything to and he would love me no matter what. I am so incredibly lucky to have found him and now to be marrying him.